


like splenda, or something

by thefigureinthecorner



Category: My Candy Love
Genre: Castiel deserved better, Deborah is not a good person, F/M, Manipulation, Slight ep 40 spoilers, Sophie is a Generic Candy(TM) i literally just made her up for this, Their relationship was messed up and Castiel tries to deal with it, implied sexual content but it’s like barely implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 12:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14425734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefigureinthecorner/pseuds/thefigureinthecorner
Summary: Things were never really okay between Castiel and Deborah.Castiel looks back on things.





	like splenda, or something

**Author's Note:**

> I tagged it, but here’s another warning: there are some slight episode 40 spoilers.
> 
> Technically Cas and Deb are underage at the time, but I’m not tagging it cause there’s barely an implication of any Naughty Business(TM). Still, warning for that if anyone cares.
> 
> Anyway Deborah sucks

She liked to draw him in with sweet words and sweet smiles and sweet touches.

Looking back, they were probably sweet in the way that overripe fruit is, just on the edge of going rotten. Looking back, maybe they were just rotten after all. He liked to pretend, sometimes, that maybe there was genuine love in them at some point, that he wasn’t actually some dumb lovestruck idiot who thought the world of a monster, but logically he knew that she had only ever seen him as some kind of stepping stool to get to the pedestal she stood on.

He dreams, sometimes, of those feather-light touches; a hand on his cheek, a mouth on his lips, a body pushed against his. He thinks of the days holding hands and of the nights spent together, and for a moment it feels real.

He wakes up and it feels like the weird, cloying flavor of artificial sweetener. It leaves a bad taste in his throat and he feels disgusted, more than anything else.

And god, he can’t believe he loved her even after she walked away. He can’t believe the path of destruction she’d left. He’d hated Nathaniel, all those years, because of her; he’d hated himself, he’d hated romance, he’d thought something was wrong with him because it couldn’t have been something wrong with her, never with her, he _trusted_ her.

Or maybe she’d managed to say “trust me” enough to a younger, more vulnerable mind that he actually was able to believe the lie. Really, it was weird how he’d never noticed how much she said it. Not as a command, but as a question.

“Don’t you trust me?” Murmured when he felt like things were falling down around him.

“Don’t you trust me?” In the hallways, as he catches her looking rather longingly at someone far more well-liked around the school than himself.

“Don’t you trust me?” Whispered between sheets, forcing him to push any kind of doubt out of his mind because of course he trusts her and now he has to prove that to her.

The words bubble up in the back of his throat as he looks down at Sophie and he swallows them like bile, shaking away the unwanted memories. He focuses back on her.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” He says this instead, ready to back off at the first sign of doubt, but she smiles and says “yes” with no hint of a second thought.

And she, she doesn’t give him sweet words or sweet smiles or sweet touches. She is genuine and she is honest and she is _enough_.

He smiles and says okay.


End file.
